Friday, October 21, 2005

Lots and lots O pennies

Alright, since I will be leagal soon, I started counting out my change bucket (also known as Lukes Hold'em bucket) so I can go to the casino and play some cards. I first had to go to the bank and get some coin rolls, cause I refuse to pay those stupid little machines 11 cents or so on to every dollar. Anyway, I got home, popped on my ipod, and listened to my praise and worship list while I counted quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies until my fingers would seemingly fall off. First let me tell you of the wonders of technology...it is a wonderful thing. As much as I say I would like to go back to the days of hunting and gathering, where there's no such thing as bills and fuel for your ride wasn't $2.89 gallon cause it grew outside your little hut door...as much as that would be nice, I would have to have my ipod with me. Wonderful little gadgets they are. My ipod has 20 gigs, and currently has about 1500 songs (about 500 of which are rap...and that's cool and all, but when I put it on random that's about all that comes up), and could probably hold another 1000 or more. So anyway, I started off with Chris Tomlin (yeah, he rocks), and eventually it got through a couple ATS worship songs, and then to Delirious' live in the can cd. So I'm sitting here,...yes, still counting coins...worshiping as I go along, and I start to get this ancy feeling. And as delirious continued to play, and eventually (cause it's a live concert recording) one of the guys starts to sorta pray over the crowd and that generation, and the further and further he gets, the crowd gets with him more and more, and then slowly he starts to really enunciate the endings of his words. So I'm still listening and counting, and he goes on about how we are the lighT of the worlD, and a city on a hill cannoT be hiddeN, and how we should leT our lighT shiNe before meN, and jusT as someone would noT lighT a LamP and cover it with a bowl..., and about this time I have to pull my headphones out and clean the spit out of my ears, and I was slightly annoyed by the sort show he seemed to be putting on, cause I know there's no way this guy prays like this. However, I eventually got over it and continued to listen to Delirious live in England somewhere from the middle of my bedroom floor, and I could hear the crowd praying in the background, and I started to remember some of the awesome conferences I've been to, where God poured out his spirit, and everyone in the room couldn't help but fall to their knees, and I really began to get tired of regular old life. This urge to do more with my life grew inside of me...this desire to be used by God, and give praise and glory to his name just wouldn't subside. Those of you who know me well, know the passion I have for worship. I would honestly rather be a worship pastor than a youth pastor. I love them both, but my heart is really in worship. And my heart began to cry out to God to be used like that. I've always dreamed big, so this wasn't the first time I've closed my eyes and envisioned myself leading worship at some big concert or conference with thousands of people, and I know it sounds vein, but if I could do it and be invisible or have a mask that would be great. I really don't care. It's worship! It's all for Him! Whether it sounds like a selfish thing or not, God knows my heart, whether or not I can describe it in words. But anyway, so I sat there, still counting and worshiping, and I prayed that God would take my love of music and specifically worship, and use it for him. I really don't have to do it at some conference, or anything like that. Wherever he would have me is fine, but as long as I get to use the gifts he's given me.
I get kinda frustrated here sometimes cause I really don't get the opportunity to lead all that much. I've given up at youth so we can develop an actuall youth band (which is coming along nicely), and I hardly ever get to lead on Sundays because of some reason or another...and yes, I've talked to our worship pastor a little about it, and haven't gotten very far...I'll probably talk to him again, and tell him how much I really want to do this, and hopefully he'll understand. I really haven't made much of a fuss about it cause it's worship, and I can do that whether I lead or not, but it's been almost 2 years now, and I've probably gotten to lead maybe 4 or 5 times, and I feel like I might be letting that gift sorta get rough around the edges. If you don't use it, you lose it. But, I get to lead this sunday which is cool. I sometimes get worried about how it will come through (I never used to worry about that, but it seems the less I do it, the less confident I become), but all I want to do this sunday is to let my heart of worship be expressed to the Father, and I really think everything else will fall in place. And if not, it doesn't matter, it won't change my heart in the matter.

So, I've sorta dragged this out...it was supposed to be about how I want God to allow me to use my heart for worship, and how I have a lot of pennies...1173 to be exact...that's a lot of pennies...took quite a while to count it all, but I have 94 dollars and some add cents in that bucket...Adios.

18 Comments:

At 5:58 PM, Blogger Hannah said...

Luke, your heart of worship is evident before you even enter a room that you are in. God has and will continue to use you in that avenue your entire life. He has given you a tremendous gift, and I, along with everyone else, are glad that you use it. :)

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger JP said...

Luke, You have an amazing talent and I so glad to hear you want to pursue the gift God has given you. I love playing with you because the love for Christ you have in your heart pours out of you into the music. It's beautiful..and I can only pray God will lead you to be a witness to His kingdom through your worship...(And I pray that Eric will give you more opportunity in the church to lead!)
Love ya man,
JP

 
At 9:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought maybe you wouldn't see it from the post below so I will say it again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE!!!!!!!!!

LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!! Call me and I will tell you something about your bday.

Love Mom

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Luke said...

Really...did you tell me on the phone earlier and I just missed it? I've still got 40 more min.'s or so anyway...I'll call you tomorrow from work. Love you mom.

Thanks Jube and Hannah,

That's coming from two people that I know absolutely have hearts for worship as well, so it means a lot. And Jube...Sundays...that's alright, I was talking with the Gilberts tonight, and our worship night could turn out to be pretty cool with some ideas Kathleen had and other things as well. We gotta keep working on it, and eventually pick a day...maybe a Fri. night? Anyway, God bless guys, LK

 
At 11:58 PM, Blogger JP said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE!

 
At 11:58 PM, Blogger JP said...

In two minutes!

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Luke,

Jana's email as you requested is

shankles@iname.com

Love Mom

 
At 5:25 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Happy birthday Blondie! This name is more obvious, I don't members zeh rest of meh names eh. I hope you have a tizight 21st, and all that comes along with it eh. Yes, I have been saying eh a lot eh, so beware, dun dun dunnn. Happy birthday again!
Laterz Pooch!

 
At 7:07 PM, Blogger BullMoose&Taft said...

Happy Birfday!!

Have fun gambling away your many pennies!

But yes, truthfully i've always preferred it when you lead worship. Its so real and alive when you lead and even if we repeat songs it doesn't get blah! It stays fresh. And I'm glad that you'll be leading on sunday.
ciao

 
At 7:21 PM, Blogger BullMoose&Taft said...

Mike says rematch! Bring it on!

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger FL PT said...

Hey Luke,
I'll pray for your situation and sincere heart that yearns to lead worship. God will bless you and put you in the leadership role in His time. Somehow I sometime have trouble with trying to understand why His time and my time don't quite add up. But, like you said, it is all for Him...and His time is the perfect one. I look forward to hearing the wonderful things that God does thru you. May He bless you as you continue to serve Him. Have a great Sunday.

P.S. Happy birthday!

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger non_chalant said...

Happy early or late Birthday Luke! YOu have such an amazing heart for God especially for worshipping him and it may not be right now, but God will place that back in your life if it is such a desire in your heart. He has a way of bringing the things we want most into the picture later on down the road. Anyway the point being if that is a desire from God it will happen. I know we all hate it, but sometimes it just takes patience. I miss you and I love you LUKE!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger xfevv said...

Happy B day Bro. Hope you had a great one. Love man and miss having you around.

Obie

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger JC said...

wattup big homey. Im writin this to you while im in school. Im in spanish and there is nothing to do so i um.........i forgot. Next hour i have p.e. so i wont get on again. You have to comment me back. I bet you didnt even no i had a blog. oh yeah, you write to much, ENJOY!!
Chizzler??

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger JC said...

wattup big homey. Im writin this to you while im in school. Im in spanish and there is nothing to do so i um.........i forgot. Next hour i have p.e. so i wont get on again. You have to comment me back. I bet you didnt even no i had a blog. oh yeah, you write to much, ENJOY!!
Chizzler??

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger JC said...

watt the? it double posted! oh well. bye.

 
At 10:38 PM, Blogger friend said...

Happy B-Day - wish you were leading in a place where I could be.

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger Luke said...

Alright chizzler, I'm commenting back...now what to say? Well, how 'bout "Olah, mellamo Jota C." Anyway, I think I'm going to have to create a youth section for all you younger bloggers...I've got way too many of you just thrown into the list. I think I knew you had one, but for some reason I haven't added it yet...So, wallah...or voila...or however you spell that. It's done. See you Wed. Homie.

Obe, Allyson, Ben. You guys all know I miss you! Don't even have to say it. Thanks for the willingness to keep up with a brother so far away.

Allyson, how's things in Ireland?

 

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